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How to win any negotiation

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Whether you realize it or not, negotiating are happening all the time and they have s profound effect both OK your personal relationship as well as the working world which is why in this article. I’ll give you a 4 step system that you can use to maximize and get out of any negotiation but before you put this to use,  you have to talk about where this negotiation are occurring because it’s not just promotions and salary bump conversation, so the first way that these are likely occurring or these could be occurring is when an authority figure tells you that you can’t, so for instance my mum is coming to visit me, she finds out her boss wouldn’t let her, so she can’t come, maybe for you this is a parent but who ever it is, when you’re hearing you can’t from an authority figure, a bell should go off that us an opportunity to negotiate similarly if you find that you’re in conflict with someone you love,  and you don’t want to be in conflict with them, often times we get into giving up our argument on whose money.

This is an opportunity for negotiation to create more for both sides and generally speaking the third is that whenever you feel like you don’t have enough, you don’t have enough time or money there is no one to blame often times there is someone who can help you if you go to them to negotiate, so at the back of your mind is that through these four steps pick a situations in your life, that’s being bothering you, you don’t fell like you have enough you can’t do this and keep that at the back of your mind as you apply this steps.

So four steps the acronym here is R. O. L. S, because it letters now the first step is real objectives that is to identify what your real objectives is prior to entering into a negotiation, when we get heated, we dig 8nto a specific positions,  so there’s a husband and a wife and they’re arguing where they’re going to spend their holidays, he said his family and she says here’s, they dig in right he’s got to go to his family, she’s got to her family and there’s no common ground but if they took the time to identify what the real objective is it probably has to do more with a feeling, maybe the husband just doesn’t feel comfortable and he doesn’t Want to spend time with his in-laws and she feels like she’s got a short vacation and she would like to see her family for summer, when you identify your real objectives you can always start to see that there’s much more overlap between the two parties one and it always or sometimes available at the first flush.

So for the sake of yourself and for the person you’re anticipating speaking to, what are your real objectives what are your real emotional objectives and one you definitely want to write down if you’re doing this for other person is that they want to be vehicles they won’t to feel important, if you exclude that from the negotiation you’re probably going to have it,  long in your face, that’s the first thing. 

Now the second thing is to make a list of ways you can get your objectives let’s say you’re the husband here, and you don’t want to see her family but you can’t go anywhere, you don’t have to go to your families house, you can go to Florida, you could go to visit her family but if there’s just one member but if particular member you don’t want to see, you can go to a different party a different room, wherever it is, get creative anything you get is your real objectives and you can do the same thing for this person, what’s all the ways that they can get their real objectives, you’re going to hypothetically with their real objectives here, the way you do in this list, Hut when you speak to them, you’ll make this concrete for now,  though as you’re thinking with through, circle the ones where you both van get what you want and they can get what they want. 

Now the third step is for you to fall in love, with your no deal option, a lot of people go into negotiation from a position of weakness and that weakness is that they need to make a deal, they need to love that wife to come to their in-laws house, so that automatically oh the back, they have to convince someone a free autonomous being to do something and that’s where they get to threatening and manipulating you didn’t do this last time,  you have to fall in love with the no deal,  and recognize that even the most personal relationship it’s possible to spend the holiday apart for right, you ask your boss for promotion and you didn’t get it, you could always not get the promotion and you could work somewhere else,  you could decide to work harder, whatever it is, just imagine a scenario where this person doesn’t give you what you want, what is still within your control and what can you do with that,  so let me give you a concrete example the best negotiation of my entire life was when I was left, my job as a consistent and I wanted to get out of this particular job for a long time and what I thought my objective was to get a job in new york only because I currently had one in DC,  and as I was applying and applying for these places I wasn’t getting it,  I felt like I couldn’t and I was stuck, at that time all if thing that I said at first were in okay,  but as I dug into my real objectives I realized what I wanted to do was not to get anyone of this particular job but I wanted to live with my friend and so when I wrote down on all the things that could work. 

I said that now,  my friend could move to DC right,  I didn’t have to go to NYC, secondly I didn’t necessarily have to have a job, I just wanted to live with him and technically it’s my real objectives was to live with him, I could get more there and then gets job,  and when I started doing this all of these responsibilities opened up and listed this of course I did that for the other person but what I had to fall in love with was within my control. 

Because as I’ve gotten through the two list of things that could work for me and things that might work for my current employer, who remote work arrangement was in there but they didn’t have to give it to me,  so really getting into the state that before I spoke to the president of the company,  I sat down and went okay. 

But they didn’t give it to me, so really getting into the state that before I spoke to the president of the company I sat down and went okay imagine if he says no and can you fall in love with the prospect of just having this particular job and move to New York city and figuring out on your own abs I did,  imagine how good it can be and how resourceful I have to be.


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